Anorexia, Pro and Cons
Posted: Sunday, May 14, 2006
by John Sammon
Sammonsays
I did a column attacking websites that promote starving, anorexia, to achieve thinness. The column produced a storm of angry comments you can read on my talk line.
Anorexic women insist on believing that I attacked their personal lifestyle (anorexia), instead of just the websites that promote Ana and bulimia (Mia).
They insist on twisting my words, reading between the lines, to have me attacking them personally (not just pro Ana websites). Since this is the case. I’m going to give them what they want.
A column mocking their lifestyle.
Anorexia. What are the pros and cons?
One pro is that since you’re wearing extra layers of clothing to hide your alarming thinness from relatives, you’ll rarely catch a chill and come down with a cold. You dress warmly, even in summer. That’s a pro.
A con is that you’re hot from overdressing. So you sweat a lot. This is good for the deodorant industry, a pro for them.
Even though you make the decision not to eat, your body keeps eating anyway. Your body says, “okay moron, I’ll just ignore you. I‘ll eat into your fat reserves (what little there is), at first, and after that‘s used up, start devouring your vital fluids."
Thus, your body cannibalizes itself.
If you carry this extreme behavior far enough for long enough….you die. That’s a con, unless you have a death wish.
A pro is that since you’re not eating, there is more food for those who do eat available in the supermarket.
Another pro is that since you don’t waste time eating, you have more time to learn a foreign language, French for example.
A con is that many French people are already noted for their rudeness (watch the reaction you get by asking street directions in Paris in crude French with a Texas accent). Adding more short-tempered people who are hungry and speaking French can only hurt. A con.
Except for Nero, Henry the Eighth, and Dick Cheney, most of the nasty tyrants down through history have invariably been thin. A con.
If you get thin enough, people can’t tell if they’re viewing you from the front, or the side. This can be a pro if you’re trying to avoid somebody (they think you‘re coming towards them, when actually you‘re moving away).
Another pro is that when you get in the shower, there’s less of you to soap, so the bar lasts longer. There are economic advantages beyond just saving money from not buying carrots.
A con is that the rise of eating disorders has produced feelings of superiority over and disdain for fat people. Americans already hate each other over politics, race, religion and class. Adding calories as an arrogant badge of honor makes us even more dysfunctional.
Of course, a pro is that hateful, prejudicial behavior, like someone saying, “you fat pig!" This might result in someone who’s obese getting mad and losing weight as an act of revenge.
Obesity is epidemic in America.
Americans are only interested in how they look, not what they think or believe. The dumbing down of America by posing and self-obsession is a con. But then again, if you’re a vain narcissist who fixates only about how you look, you are hip with the times.
That’s a pro.
You know the old saying, “don’t be a square."
Now it’s, “don’t be round."
That’s a pro if you’re thin, a con if you’re fat.
© Copyright 2006 by SammonSays.com
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Top-level comments on this article: (8 total)I...must say, that was one of the most interesting articles I've read on accident. I can't really use any of this in my debate over anorexia, but it was still an interesting read. Using the more everyday thoughts and less of the medicali have to admit, this is terribly witty. i cant even be insulted because he makes excellent points in a satirical way. hopefully others can laugh at themselves too :] of course it's our lifestyle choice, but that doesnt mean anyone HAS to respect it.
This is so funny. haha
you are a little insensitive to those struggling with this disease.... don't joke
hahaha insensitive?more like right on the mark! if more psychiatrists told things like this to their patients there would be a lot less ignorance and stupidity in the world.and free speech allows him to joke all he wants.
haha well im like the last person who read this on accident and though i cant use any of it in my paper it was amusing.it was really funny but i can't use it in my paper but i got a laugh
hahaha ohmygosh. this article is hilarious. yeah it didn't really help me with my school report but i got laughs out of it!
When reading this I was thinking OMG this guys going to get a few negative comments because its seems to border on the edge of what isn't politically correct and maybe its not very empathetic...that would be a con, but as I read on I found a smile on my face and thought, finally someone has stopped tip toeing around one of life's issues that while serious puts that political correctness constant into an "I'm OVER PC for every aspect in life stuff!!!"....thats a PRO!!
soooo i was looking for something to help me with my persuasive project and i clicked this thinking it would be helpful in my report. Really? didn't help me at all and it was a waste of my time, but it was pretty funny. Even though i've been accused soo many times of being anorexic because i'm so skinny, it was soo fun to read. ('m definitely not anorexic.)
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