Extreme Right Wing Xenophobe Military-Like Awards
Posted: Wednesday, April 01, 2009
by John Sammon
Sammonsays
Right Wing talk show hosts, those to the right of Genghis Kahn, should have their own awards ceremony in a military-like setting, because though they love wars, they never served in the military.
Not one of em.
They're consistent.
Why is it that guys who yell the loudest about the need to bomb the savages back to the Stone Age never served?
They can act like they're in the military, and accept military-like awards. What the hell. Ever since we were kids we liked playing soldier.
To Sean Hannity, resplendent in his black SS-style tunic, goes the I-Hate-Immigrants Award, a diamond-studded Iron Cross First Class, given for promulgating through the use of hot air, numerous indiscretions and falsehoods, for saying for example on the air that English is the only language for success in America, when his own ancestor immigrants spoke an unintelligible form of Gaelic and were considered sub-human pete-bog hauling drunkard lowlifes by the English WASPS of their day.
Applause! Applause!
To Rush, who looks exactly like the late Herman Goering, appearing at the awards ceremony stunning in his solid white Marshall of the Extreme Right Field Marshall's uniform, goes the order of the Pour-Le-Hot-Bull-No-Merit Award, the Blue No Facts Max (cross). The country's highest medal for bullsh.'t.
They all wanted to serve in a war. But they were too busy promoting war and counting money from broadcasting.
To Bill O'Reilly, dressed in a John Wayne cowboy hat and a red robe of the Jesuit Order of the Spanish Inquisition, who loves to scream at his camera crew and act physically threatening like an eighth grade bully to those few he has managed to scare, goes the John Wayne Super-Patriot Award, shaped like a cowboy hat in gold with a photo of The Duke embossed on it. The award is given to that performer who, like the Duke, never saw a war he didn't like, who encourages others to fight wars, but who himself never fought in one because he was too busy counting money and being a media big shot.
O'Reilly and Hannity? What is it with these mean Irish guys?
Why didn't these guys ever serve? They're always questioning the patriotism of others.
WHY DIDN'T THEY SERVE AS A BUCK PRIVATE IN THE MILITARY, AN HONOR FOR ANY PATRIOT ? Think of the Revolutionary War Minutemen. Did they have microphones?
Hell no!
What about Cheney? Newt? He never served either. Or P. Buchanan? Heck, he can fight. His father took him down to the basement and put boxing gloves on him as a child and taught him how to fight.
Why no service? Living the good life on the college campus while others do the fighting, huh?
Where were they in 1968? Vietnam . Or the 1990s and beyond, Desert Storm 1 & 2, even the dog kennel assault on the Island of Granada ? There have been plenty of great wars to get into.
It's not hard to do. You just go down to a recruiting office and sign your name.
Sean, Bill, Rush, why if no talk the talk, then walk the walk?
To little Dick Morris goes the Joseph Goebbels From a Small Guy to You Award, a golden microphone with innuendo statements embossed on it and a figure of a top Fox News executive with a Christian halo around his head, the award presented for misstatements by a person of very short physical stature, like Goebbels was.
The climax of the ceremony is the wheeling into the room of a statue of the late Ronald Reagan, the only true military veteran in the room (Reagan served during World War 2 in Santa Monica making army training films).
The attendees including Fox owner Rupert Murdoch come to a stiff arm salute. The awardees are told they can keep their uniforms and fake medals.
Copyright 2009 Sammonsays.
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