Cloning Pros and Cons; How to Love Yourself
Posted: Wednesday, January 21, 2009
by John Sammon
Sammonsays
It's pretty clear that this is the age of "me, me. ME!!!
Me first! It's all about me!
The age of cloning is perfect for this cowardly age of self-love that lets people lie, cheat and steal, to get ahead, whether it's an Olympic athlete on steroids, or a conniving backstabbing corporate executive, or a politician who would steal $50 off his mother's bureau drawer while her back was turned.
I'll tell ya.'
You can duplicate yourself.
Let's look at the pros and cons.
The first is self love. You look in the mirror every day, and you worry about those worry lines, and those graying hairs. C'mon! We both know you love yourself.
Why not make love to yourself? With cloning, the duplication of cells, you can do it. A perfect re-creation of yourself. What would you be like in bed making love to a perfect artificially created double of yourself? And who would be the sexual aggressor, you or your clone?
There are no surprises. You already know where every bump and mole is. No strange and scary sexual diseases to pick up, nothing you don't already have. In the morning, when you roll over, your other half can't look any worse than you because it's literally your other half.
When someone suggests that you go Fu..'k (expletive deleted) yourself, you can explain to them, that you already have.
"And it was very enjoyable I might add," you might add. "I've always enjoyed my own company."
This puts self-love at a whole new level.
Making love to yourself doesn't exactly qualify as homosexuality because it's you. A new word would have to be coined, possibly "homonarcissistic unity," or "mono-quixotic-familious" (if it sounds Latin it sounds important).
And of course, an entire new set of despicable insults will have to be created just for people and haters who are appalled and offended by your behavior. Instead of "pansy" or "limp-wrist," we might have a word like "split-off," or "dual-joints."
These are all questions that can be worked out.
But here's a pro. You and your clone can double up on your life. That is, your clone can take over half your life, chores, duties, commitments, which frees up more time for you. You need to go to the store to get a carton of milk. Send your clone instead. Instead of you going.
You have to attend the funeral of a co-worker you hated because it won't look good in your company if you go to the beach instead. Send your clone.
Think of the possibilities.
Of course, there's the possibility your clone could refuse to go. Or demand pay. This is a possible con.
That can be worked out too. You simply promise to take your clone out to dinner (no need for flowers at the door), or offer your clone money.
Cloning could insure world harmony. Just like at your work. Let's assume you have a boss who insulted you. You just send your clone in the next day. Instead of you going. Your boss expects to see you all nervous and angry after he insulted you in front of your co-workers. Instead, your clone is sitting there like he doesn't have a care in the world, like he couldn't care less.
Your boss gets angry so the veins stand out on his neck because he obviously can't get on your nerves, and he goes out to lunch and has a heart attack. Mission accomplished.
We could use clones of world leaders to meet with other hostile world leaders. Warfare might disappear thanks to cloning because nobody would know who the hell they were really dealing with. Am I dealing with World Leader A, or their clone? (Nothing insures peace and quiet quite like confusion).
With cloning, the possible pros outweigh the cons.
Copyright 2008 by SammonSays.com
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