John Sammon

It's Time for a Third Major Party

It’s time for a major third party to compete for the White House if for no other reason than the injection of new blood and new ideas for a mix that has gone stale. Neither of the two traditional parties has shown they are capable of running the country. It shouldn’t take a genius to figure it out. Even I understand it. There have been historical attempts before. The “Progressive” or Bull... (posted by John Sammon 5 days 12 hours ago.)

Newt and Adolf's Compliant, Understanding Women

The response from Newt Gingrich to the question at the debate asking him if he asked his wife for an “open marriage,” in other words the right to cheat on her right under her nose with her permission, and the reaction of the crowd in South Carolina, was chilling if one is rational. It was the roar of the mob. It was also a standing ovation. The crowd might as... (posted by John Sammon 19 days 11 hours ago.)

Vile Vials

There's something about me that really angers people. A nice guy like me. Maybe it's because I'm so open, vulnerable, intelligent, handsome. I don't know. It's uncanny how I have this innocent ability to infuriate. If I could just channel it, find a way to make money off it. For example, I've taken my share of low blow cruel shots at work. I've worked for some vicious, sadistic, dishonest, scheming... (posted by John Sammon 25 days 9 hours ago.)

Floot My Nooter

All your life have you been burdened with an overwhelming sexual desire? That means you want to be doing it twenty-four hours a day. Why? Why were you cursed with this? You’re not happy. Who would be. Since you can't get enough (sex), there's never enough. This has interfered with your job and career and has caused you to perhaps shun church where you might have eventually (through pleading and... (posted by John Sammon 123 days 19 hours ago.)

An Interview with the World's Longest Surviving Severed Head

We are interviewing Mr. Loren C. Vandersnarff, the world’s longest surviving severed head. Mr. Vandersnarff, welcome to our SearchWarp studio. Loren – Thank you John. SearchWarp – How did you come to be the world’s longest living severed head? Loren – It was in a farming accident, in Buel, Idaho. I was operating a threshing... (posted by John Sammon 152 days 16 hours ago.)

I'm the World's Largest Albino Pigmy

I am the world's biggest.....albino Pigmy. You didn't know did you? The Pigmies don't either. They don't like the word Pigmy. Today, they go by the name "Baka." Three times I have applied for membership to the tribe, and three times I have been ignored, after completing the entrance test. I know I got a high score. For example, on the question, "what would you do if a kangaroo hopped by?" Kill it... (posted by John Sammon 245 days 18 hours ago.)